So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
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