It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
then he tried to convert me to islam
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
