So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Randomize
