We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
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