Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
