I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
You dont lie about slip and slides
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
Randomize
