i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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