Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
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