Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
