Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Randomize
