ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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