Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize