im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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