they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Randomize
