good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Randomize
