My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
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