Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
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