somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
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