Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
they're like a gay fantastic four
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Everyone says I win the strip club
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
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