you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Randomize
