She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Randomize
