He asked to "fluff my boner.."
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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