You really coming over, don't trick.
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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