I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
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