the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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