it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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