He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
