left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Randomize
