she was so not down for the gang bang
somebody snuck up and got me drunk
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
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