why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
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A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
I didn't notice because vodka
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
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