He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
