they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
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