your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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