Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Randomize
