she looked like the bat from fern gully.
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
i think we sleep fucked last night...
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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