she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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