at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Randomize
