what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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