he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
birth control should be required to get into college
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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