Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize
