What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
I wanna passion pit in your ass
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
