yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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