i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Randomize