Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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