i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
