There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
Hippo gnu deer
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize
