i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
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He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
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Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
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