First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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