were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize
