Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Less talking, more tequila
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
