I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Randomize
