Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
These 19 Guys Hit The Cougar Jackpot
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.