guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
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Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
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Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you