Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Randomize
