You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
