I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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