On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
