dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
jump out the window naked night went bad
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