I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
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