she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
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he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
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She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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